I came to a realization a few weeks back that I do an awful lot of complaining about how HE'S changed and not all for the better and how HE'S not doing his best to fight for me, for us. Yet never, until recently, have I stopped to take a long hard look in the mirror. Yes, people change. We've added two kids to the mix of chaos, we've literally been through hell and back. Yes, people change, life changes us and unfortunately not always for the best. But here's the thing, he's changed, I'VE changed. Now we need to grow and we can't do that if we aren't taking personal responsibility for ourselves and our part in our marriage. I want him to do all the things he did to impress me back then yet I stopped doing all the things I did to impress him such as taking the time to actually shave daily or do my hair or get out of yoga pants. While a lot of me hasn't changed a lot has and it's been all the things that made him love me to begin with. We get married and our mindset over time changes from,"what can I do for my husband today? How can I continue to impress him?" To,"Ugh, I'm too tired to even wash my hair much less put on clothes or do something for my husband today." Ladies, you want him to do ALLLLLL THE THINGS he did to get your attention, do ALLLLLLL THE THINGS you did to make him want to get your attention. You want him to love you more, fight harder for you . . . DO. THAT. FOR. HIM.
We don't have the perfect marriage. We have our struggles and I am far from the perfect wife. I don't have my shit together anymore than anyone else, most days far less than everyone else. Our life is chaotic, messy and right now, down right hard. It would be easier to throw in the towel than to wake up everyday and fight for him, for me, for us, for our family. But I'll be damned if I spent the last 10 years fighting everyday for all of it to go out the window without more fighting and doing all I can to show him he is still worthy to be impressed and loved wholeheartedly by me.
I sincerely love my husband more today than ever before because he is still here, fighting with me. We make a choice everyday, we intentionally chose to love each other even when we don't want to.
I hope I can share some realness and inspire real couples to keep doing what you did before because marriage is worth it. ❤